I do have some impulse issues with basically saying most of everything that pops into my head and I am working on that because I agree it can be bad professionally and can be annoying to your friends if you interrupt them all the time. I think it’s important to watch nonverbal cues so you can get an idea of when you’ve crossed that line.

However,iIf someone isn’t willing or able to notice and take heart to those cues, maybe there is something wrong and you should be more sensitive. Another poster mentioned depression and that makes a lot of sense to me. Many people ignore things, not because they are rude, but because they are afraid of what it means if they pay too close attention. Food for thought anyway.

Other chatties will keep up with the rhythym and always know when to interrupt.

No-one is wrong here. It’s just a mismatch of talking styles. Just don’t be surprised when your long-suffering Silent Ones start to talk more, because the conversation with their fellow quieties has dried up.

Personally, I have received hints and clues over the years that alerted me to the fact that I tend to bring up topics or stories and run on about them when my audience isn’t really into them. My solution? I have an outlet for that energy. I have taken different marketing jobs and I write a lot. The marketing mindset forces me to consider my audience and the effectiveness of my communication. Words are my friends but I must force myself to be succinct and get to the point.

In personal relationships, I allow my curiosity to reign. I want to know them and understand them which creates a greater degree of trust, closeness and companionship. Foster that desire to ask questions and take joy in getting to know other people and what makes them tick. When you pay attention to their body language and facial expressions and you want the conversation to mean as much to them as it does to you, the natural path is for speaking and listening to balance out.

My husband, on the other hand, will speak himself down a path, recognize he has lost his audience, get frustrated with himself and then try to talk himself back out of it. More words are just throwing good money after bad. If you have this problem, practice graceful exits. Brainstorm ways that you can cut yourself off naturally before somebody else does it in a less kind manner. Neither one of you will benefit from the awkwardness or hurt feelings.

If this is a challenge for you, then put yourself in situations where you cannot talk. Practice silence. Allow thoughts to enter and leave your mind without having to verbalize them. A concert. A town hall meeting. A classroom. These are all places where you may have the urge to stand up and share your opinions but you must force yourself to listen.

Watch other people interacting and pay close attention to the subtle clues they give one another during conversations. Then, look for times when these same hints crop up in your own conversations.

If you have close friends or family members, ask them about your problem. Ask them how they feel and what they think when you speak too much or interrupt. And then, if you are both ready, apologize without a lengthy explanation. Simply say you are learning how to better communicate and you appreciate their feedback and support.

When your energy bill is too high, you make an effort to reduce your electricity use. Your word count is too high. . . so give yourself a budget for the day and make it a personal goal to speak mindfully not wastefully. You will feel relief and increased confidence within days.

To the readers and commentors who have been cut off rudely, I am sorry. There is no excuse for such callous and uncharitable behavior. However there is nothing you can do about another person’s poor manners. You can only set personal goals for your own growth and improvement. Let them be. Take their criticism with a large grain of salt, and then move on.

I want to be better, and I NEVER want to have that experience again. I hate myself right now. Every time I take a step forward, it seems like life comes and sticks its foot out so I fall on my face.
And I’m melodramatic too. I hate that also.
Breathe.
Sit.
Be quiet.
I’m trying.

Moments before I was engaged in conversation with the other coworker – we were recalling a fun time we’d shared a few years ago. This is the conversation that the man was referring to when he said – she never shuts up.

I’ve thought about that conversation and tried to figure out if I had dominated the conversation, or if I’d interrupted our chat, or talked too long… I’ve tried to analyze my participation in the conversation. I can honestly say that, at least on this occassion, my part of the chat was balanced, like a tennis game, he hit one, I hit one, back and forth, and so on.

Now I’m left puzzled about why he labelled me as a “talker”, when all I did was have a conversation. I didn’t talk any more than my friend did… so why isn’t he considered the talker? Is it that men have a stereotype of women being big talkers… or is it something else?

In any case, it hurt my feelings terribly, to hear someone speak about me that way.

The worst part is that I don’t know what I could have done differently.

I can talk a lot – there’s no doubt that I have the gift of gab – but I recognize that and try to be mindful of it when engaged in conversations.

What am I missing here?