How to Deal With People Who Are Impossible
Posted on March 27th, 2007 by Anthony
At some point, we’ve all had to deal with a real “nut-job”. That is unless, of course, we’re the “nut-job”. Hopefully that’s not the case. People who seem to be impossible to deal with can frustrate you in a way that death seems like the easiest and most sensible solution. Of course, that’s not the case………but it’s the way our mind can over-exaggerate a situation if we’re frustrated enough. The best thing to do is to learn how to deal with these people before they get you on your wits end.
The Facts….
- You have to accept that you can’t deal with this kind of person the same as everyone else. It’s just impossible! That’s what led you to realize how impossible they were in the first place. They may be crazy, or maybe your personality doesn’t mix with theirs, but either way, you have to be very direct when you have to communicate with them. Sometimes you have to treat them like children, being extremely gentle with your words and ever aware of them being how they are.
- You have to figure out for sure if it’s them, and not you! Most likely it is, or you would have these problems with almost everyone, not just this hot shot. The fact is though, that this can be confusing, because impossible people like to blame everything on someone else. So, you may be the target of that blame. Just always replay the situation in your mind and make sure you aren’t the problem. Be ready to admit it if you are.
- It’s much easier said than done, but stay cool and don’t let anger get you bent out of shape. People who act like children should be treated as such. If they become angry and start yelling, it’s best not to engage them. Let them have their say, but assume they are just venting. Don’t take what they say personally, just remember if the conversation needs to continue, let it wait until they can act like an adult. At some point, you may need to even tell them that.
A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.
Proverbs 15:1
March 27th, 2007 at 11:50 pm
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March 28th, 2007 at 10:04 am
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March 28th, 2007 at 11:37 pm
That is some great advice to go by. I know a few people like this and one of my biggest problems is I do get angry and bent out of shape with them. Ultimately I end up telling them what I really think about the situation.
March 29th, 2007 at 7:49 am
I’ve let them get to me, too. As a matter of fact, I think it’s probably natural to talk to others in the same tone they talk to you. But, unfortunately, that will rarely get you anywhere.
February 14th, 2008 at 1:53 pm
Sometime you just have to let the bad aspects of your life “go” and after saying goodbye to a Selfish, demanding and destructive friendship today I cant help but feel, lighter, if not very sad ;-(
Good work and honest stuff.
July 23rd, 2008 at 1:26 pm
you said it in a gentle way, and it’s exactly what i think too
September 4th, 2008 at 7:52 am
I like the idea of treating them like children. Basically visualising them like a little brat sounds like a really good idea…Get some emotional distance so you don’t take the nasty things they say personally.
December 11th, 2008 at 7:37 am
you know what every one said is so true…where i live i get really stressed from people who are impossible to please..but even though i try not to let it get to me somehow it always does.
January 19th, 2009 at 9:08 pm
That very true all my life I had deal with impossible social workers and mangers, people in the communtiy. There only what listen what the hear. sometimes there drive me nuts.
March 15th, 2009 at 10:45 pm
its very difficutl when this person is your spouse. They never do NO wrong.. its always you.. You cant look at them right.. “Why are you talking like that”.. i try to stay as cool as possible.. otherwise I want to EXPLODE.. so i have a demenor of no expression.. and they cant stand that either.. If you argue.. it just fuels it .. so I simply decide to walk away from it… its a shame.. and a sad way to have to live…especially with a spouse!
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March 24th, 2009 at 10:45 am
Great insight. A friend of mine fits this description so well. And sad to say when I was getting to know her at first none of this attitude was apparent. After a while and she was sure she had established a friendship she began to act like an …oops… i will say child. She is a know it all to boot and now whenever we do talk it is …”don’t get it” or “no that’s not it. She is a knowledge hog… and it is too hard to have a two way conversation bcs she gets “tempermental” Any suggestions on how to slowly get out of this relationship. She is also very vengeful i have discovered and has ruined people’s lives…it is sad but totally frustrating….
April 3rd, 2009 at 3:51 pm
I married one like this and im ready to walk out. nothing has helped this guy. he is just like his mother, in her mid 50’s immature, flies off the handle and controlling!
Im going thourh what Danilele is going through it has become emotionally unstabling always walking on egg shells
June 4th, 2009 at 2:47 am
The best ally for dealing with such difficult people is patience
June 10th, 2009 at 4:06 am
I am a wreck inside out, left and right, up and down trying to deal with my impossible husband for the last 5 years. My husband is not only impossible, he’s inconsistant too. Its impossible to work on anything with him. I never know when or how the next bomb of his madness would drop on me. He is neither a resident nor an outsider, a father but not a parent. he’s so impossible that he won’t even agree to a separation or divorce!!!He gets violent everytime I have an upperhand on matters. having him in my life has totally drained me. The worst thing is that he always comes out as the sane one in the relatonship. There is no winning while dealing with the impossible person. My only option, it appears, is either to disappear or die. but my young child with him makes it difficult for me to try anything outrages.
June 27th, 2009 at 5:12 pm
Wow! So many people living with impossible spouses! i have no idea what your background is, but could I offer a suggestion? Pray! God can change anyone’s heart. He is the hope in every hopeless situation!
Good suggestions, Anthony.